Before I came out as a comedian, much like some homosexuals do, I
tried not being a comedian. I was going to school and I declared myself a
marketing major with the idea that I’d go into advertising (LIKE DON
DRAPER!!!). That idea didn’t last too long though. Giving it the “old college
try” to most means an “all-out effort”, to me the old college try means “wake
up before a chemistry final, decide you don’t want to do it, then go to Borders
and read some comic books instead.” I had a couple weeks left in my first
semester when I came to terms with myself that school just isn’t for me. I wanted to drop out.
My dad was always gracious enough to pay for his kids’
schooling. There are four of us & we’re fifty-fifty when it comes to
being
college grads. I’m the only boy out of the kids though. Social norms say
it
would have been okay if my sisters just married college-goers &
skipped the
academic experience, but the boy of the family is expected to get a
degree,
then go to more school to get more degrees, then more school to get more
degrees until you catch all the degrees! With all those degrees you can
make
money and pay your wife & kids to stay with you and love you. I was
jealous that my
sisters had the unspoken “skip school” option. Once I brought up to my
sister the ‘absurd’
notion that maybe I could marry someone who had a career and be a
stay-at-home. Her response was, “Oh no, Jordan! Don’t make your wife be
the bread
winner.” First of all I don’t intend to marry a bread athlete. Secondly,
that’s
what she’s making her husband do! What’s the bd (big deal)?!
Anyway, I’ve always felt the pressure to finish college and
take the safe approach, but what’s safe anyway?! Safe is synonymous with boring.
I don’t want to sound lofty, but chasing your dreams takes courage. I know I
have a better chance to afford the cost of living if I jump through the hoops
that look good on a résumé, but I’m not up to that. I’m a millennial, dammit!
I’m so brave, and smart, and pretty, and talented. Where’s my trophy?
So the day after I skipped my chemistry final was the day I
talked to my parents about dropping out. I told my mom I needed to talk to her and Dad. She called
my dad down to the kitchen and I just told ‘em. “I don’t want to go to school
anymore,” I said. A pause followed
then my dad broke the silence, “Like ever?” “Like ever,” I answered.
Here’s the thing about parents, good ones anyway, they know
what your strengths are and they have a pretty good idea of the direction those
strengths can take you. Of course they wanted me to graduate from college and
take a 9 to 5 gig some place, but they’re supportive of what I choose to
pursue. I went on to tell them I wanted to learn how to make comedy work as a
career and here’s what my dad said, which surprised me, “Well, anyone
who’s seen you perform knows you have what it takes.” It surprised me because
I’d been running in my mind the worst-case scenarios where my parents kicked me
out on the curb shouting, “You’re no son of ours!” But they haven’t disowned me. In
fact they kinda have faith in me. Remember how I said it takes courage to
follow your dreams? It takes just as much courage to root those dream chasers
on. As you’re figuring your craft out and showing it off and you suck and it’s
awkward they have to nudge the person they’re sitting next to in this shitty,
lifelong recital that is your career and say, “That’s my son! Isn’t he brave, and smart, and pretty, and talented?
Where’s his trophy?!”
So it turned out okay. My parents support me. I guess to
kinda make a point to all this I can say opening up about yourself and what you
want to be is scary when it’s breaking the mold. But it’s probably worth it…
right? …Oh, God, what have I done?
-Jordan
